Ninja? Ha! More Like A Wizard!

First of all, let me say that this post is sponsored by my Dad.  

He got us a new slow-cooker for Christmas, The Ninja.

We bought him one, too, but now I feel bad because the one we bought is not powered by magic like the Ninja obviously is (No tell tale signs of magic yet, but I am almost positive that the power cord is a farce).

I have had this box sitting in my kitchen, mocking my fear of it.  It does to much to be real.  Like, the manual makes it sound like it could pay off my student loans after getting me straight A's and cooking me nutritious and reduced fat cupcakes.  

Well, I finally took the thing out of the box.  It looks all matte black with shiny chrome buttons and much too high-tech (*cough, magic, cough*) to be sitting in my little apartment kitchen.  

All fear aside, this thing is awesome.

My schedule is really the only thing that has stopped me from using every, single function at least once.  So, I started a roast tonight, seared it (in the slow cooker!), seasoned it, and Hubby is going to start it in the morning while I am at work.  So, after work, lunch at Jq's, grocery shopping, and being out of the house for 12 hours, I will hopefully be coming home to a perfect roast.  I can also make the gravy in the darn thing when the roast is done.  

So, I will definitely be posting a review of how the roast and gravy turned out sometime in the near future.  

By the way Dad, Whimzy is also on her laptop right now doing her "homework".  

Best New Year's, Light Sabers, Changes, and Resolutions

We celebrated New Year's Eve last night with a few close friends, our daughter, and my friend's daughter.  There were light sabers involved, and then my daughter fought back with the box that the light saber came in.

Yeah, that happened.  In fact, that was a good portion of our night.  Us adults sat back with our beers, laughed and hoped to the powers that be that we didn't end up in the ER. Epic. 

In other news, I would like to do a quick recap of my 2013 and some major and minor changes that have occurred.

Of course, the first major one is that I am now Mrs. Christensen.  It was the best decision I have ever made in my life and I do not know if any thing I could ever do in my life will be as important as that one day. 

The second major one is that I decided to get on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications again.  They have made a huge difference in my life.  I am still struggling, and there is still a lot to work through, but I made the first real steps in 2013.

A minor one, directly tied to the last one, is that I got a real, paying, hourly job.  It is a fun job for me, and it is giving me some extra money to play with (Hello, $100 worth of bras!!), and gets me out of the house a bit.

Another change is how much easier I am able to lean on my support system when I need it.  I'm no longer afraid that I am going to be let down, or let to fall.  The stability is amazing and I am so thankful for the support in my life.

And now, down to the last section of the title!

Resolutions!

One of the main values that we hold as a family is that a person can continue to grow and that trying to become a better person should be a constant idea in the back of our minds.   So, we decided to do our resolutions together as our first New Year as "The Christensens".  We even sat down with Whimzy and explained it all to her and she even has four resolutions!  

I am just going to list a few of the main ones, and the reasoning behind them.

1) More playdates for Whimzy.

2) Family meal time at the table 1-2 a week.  It would be more, but with our opposite work schedules, it can be difficult.

3) Healthier eating as a family.

4) Making our bedroom a priority for our relationship as a couple. Basically, keeping it clean and making it a nice place for us to be.

5) 104 books for me to read in 2014.

6) I want to learn more about darts so that I can be more supportive of Ty's dream.

7) Ty wants to read with me once in awhile, based off of my suggestions.

8)I want to learn how to balance all of the demands of my life better.  

9) I also want to become more organized and make the apartment more organized.

10)  Ty wants to up his practice time for darts.

11) Ty wants to set more of a sleep schedule so that he isn't staying up too late after work and getting up in time to spend some time with us while I am not at work. 

12)  Ty also wants to develop weekly and monthly goals and plans as the year goes on to meet his resolutions.

13)  I want to continue making goals as I go through and make strides in my anxiety and depression.

We are all going to grow together, and I really think this is going to help us grow together instead of apart over the years.  And this is not the complete list, just some highlights of our 3 pages of resolutions.  

What are your resolutions or goals for the new year?

Have any plans to make them come true?  

Out of Context

So, this is my first real attempt to broaden my reader base, so beware.

First of all, I have been listing blog ideas in my "idea/to-do/need to buy/need to remember" notebook.  I have some awesome ideas coming up for my readers :)

First of all, I have tried keeping journals for about the past decade. I have failed miserably.  They usually end up with about 20 entries spread out across at least a year.  Most of them just being updates that seem pointless reading them in hindsight.  

That being said, I do have a few gems that I jotted down in the last couple of years of quotes from Ty, Whimzy, or myself.

So, here are some random quotes, completely out of context and your job is to figure out what was going on at the time!  The best one gets a $10 Amazon gift card sent to them :)  Here is the catch, we have to have at least 10 submissions from separate users in the comments before I will judge :)  So, share this with your friends!

Here we go!

"That tooth's name is Tammy!" - Ty

"She is going to steal my soul!" - Ty

"Omg, you stole my feather sword!" - Ty

"I'm considering yelling 'SEX TOYS' to get attention" - Me

"Whimzy is growing a unicorn horn!" - Ty

"Here's to not having dreams about golf courses and priests!" - Me

"What does doing do?"  Whimzy

"So...Hitler was an alien?" - Ty

"You smell like a gas station, why are you 2 hours late?" - Me

"Did that toilet just sing?" - Ty

"Stop being toothy and vengeful!" - Ty

"You just put the fear of vagina into me" - Ty

"Well, that is what happens when you steal the Kraken's eggs!" - Cara

"I am a pirate, afraid of the ocean!" - Ty

"Octopi are my best friend!" - Whimzy

"I can't believe that I just cried over a golf-playing triceratops" - Cara

Let's do this!!!

Best situations that you think these quotes happened in, win!  

Hint:  I am looking for the feels or the laughs ;)

Who Could've Known?

This post is specifically for 4 people.

My aunt, my uncle, my dad, and my sister.  

Over the weekend, Ty and I got to spend it together while the four of them took care of my daughter, fixed my car, and detailed it.

Whimzy had an amazing time, and now has a new best friend, Angie.

My dad played soccer with her, and she got to go shopping for a present for mommy and daddy (which she signed herself!).

Then, less than 24 hours after we got our newly cleaned and fixed car home, one of our belts blew. My uncle and aunt drove to pick my car up and he spent the entire evening fixing it, which included a freezing cold drive because the belt that blew controlled the heating.

Four years ago, I would have never thought that I would be in such a great relationship with any of them (except maybe Angie).  

We all went through some pretty terrible stuff and I didn't handle any of it well.  I was lost and scared, and despite everybody's best efforts, I couldn't seem to get past it.  Misunderstandings, lack of communication, and overall bad decisions on my part had, I thought, irreparably damaged my relationship with my family.  

Then, this weekend (and I have realized it before, but it really hit hard this weekend) I realized how much I really depend on them and how my life would be not nearly as amazing without them.  They give my daughter grandparents while my mom is incapable, and my dad is a great grandpa to her.  My holidays, big events, and everyday life all involves them somehow.  I look forward to seeing all of them, especially together.  I am constantly seeing things that remind me of each of them.  

There is no way that I will ever be able to re-pay them for the support that they have given me, or even the car cleaning/fixing that they did in the last week, but I really want them to know how much I love them, and how happy I am that I get to call them, and spend time with them.

My mom may not be able to be with me for everything, but I have an amazing aunt, uncle, and my Dad to fill that hole.  Not to mention my awesome little sister.  

I love you guys and I hope you understand how much I appreciate every one of you.

A Rarity

As promised, here is an update on my life.

I got a job.  I am a barista for a few mornings a week at a local cafe.

I do customer service, take orders, short order cooking, make drinks, and cleaning (dishes, wiping tables, etc...).  And because of my availability and Ty's job, I work opening, which means I set the cafe up and all of that fun stuff.  It is a fast paced, but a social and fun job.  My manager and owner are pretty awesome and are very understanding of my anxiety issues, as well as excellent in the way they help me improve my performance.

It feels nice to have my own cash, and last week I got my first actual pay check in almost four years!  I am able to help out with Christmas, and I have major plans for a book nook in our bedroom with my extra money.  

Tips are super nice, too.  It means every day I work, I have some extra money in my wallet.  

It has been an uphill battle.  

I spent the first few weeks dreading going to work.  I didn't think I could do it. I felt weak and exhausted.  My feet hurt, my anxiety rocketed through the roof, and if I wasn't at work, I was incapable of anything because I was so worn down from the anxiety of being at work.

And, this is a job that I enjoy doing.  I rock at it.

Well, yesterday, I had an amazing day at work.

My feet didn't hurt quite so much, my anxiety didn't kick in, and I didn't come home and become useless.  I actually got quite a bit done when I got home.

My cash tips were higher than normal, and I had more positive interaction with some of the major regulars.

And now today, I got to sleep in (thanks to Ty), and I have kicked butt.  I even baked a cake!  Gonna frost it after I finish this and I'm sure that Whimzy has eaten enough dinner.  

It feels wonderful to feel productive and happy.  

The next few weeks are going to be very hectic, though.  Busy and little time to unwind from work, school, and being Mommy.  Also, today was probably my last day to sleep past 6:30 am for a few weeks.  And, sleeping in is one of my major sanity savers.  

I am cautiously excited that I found a perfect blend of vitamins and meds to get me through life right now, but I am also scared to death that this is a fluke and I am going to crash.  

On the plus side, I have some awesome blog ideas for you guys!  I hope to notch up my level of funny, because, let me tell you, I hear the craziest things at work!

I also plan on writing more, especially now that my life is a little bit more exciting and varied.  I hope that those of you that have been reading continue to read, and I hope that you tell your friends about me :)  It makes me feel special ;)

Until later, lovers!

<3<3<3

Thankful

Wow, it has been over a month since I posted.

A lot has happened since then.

But, that shall be for another post!

This post is about Thanksgiving, and all of the things that I am thankful for!

I am going to make a list, some will be serious and some will be the little things that keep me going everyday, despite the crazy inside my head.

1. First and foremost, my family.  This is divided into 4 separate parts.

A) Ty.  It has been almost exactly 6 months since I became Mrs. Ty Christensen, and every day he continues to amaze me.  I love him and appreciate him more every moment that passes. His sense of humor, his sense of pride, his love for us, his patience and acceptance.  I always thought that unconditional love was a myth, but he proves it true every time I screw up, every time I am weak, every time the crazy pokes out.

B) Whimzy.  She is so smart, and funny.  She lays on me, tells me how amazing I am, loves to read, is obsessed with moon, and wears the hat that Nana knitted for me way better than I ever did.  She lights up my world and gives me something to be better for.

C) The rest of my family.  My aunt and uncle, who are more like a Mom and Dad, the cousin, who I have chosen to call sister, my Dad, who I am so grateful to becoming closer to, and my mom, who still loves me, even though she can't always remember who I am.  I have a wonderful support system, and am so, so thankful for it.

D) My new family.  I am Christensen now.  I have a whole other side of a family to call my own.  I have two new brothers, and a new sister!  Not to mention a gaggle of cousins and aunts and uncles!  (Like really, ALOT!!!) I have nephews, who are as old as I am. lol.  I have a mother-in-law that we are trying to mend fences with, and quite a few other people that I am now related to that I am thankful for (Uncle Randy, Auntie Nancy, Shana).  

2.  I am thankful for my friends.  Friends close enough that I consider them family.  It is a short list, but it is an important list.  They helped shape me into who I am today.  And everyday, they amaze me.  From borrowing my toilet seat, to being my go-to person for book recommendations, to my friend that I stay up with until 1 am just talking, to my friend that has been there through everything and still helps me take care of my mom.  Not to mention my guy friends, my absolutely awesome guys that listen to my ranting and raving when Ty is at work.  I can really only think of five...lol.  Kyle, Eric, JR, Brad, and Patrick.   You all make me a better person, and I look forward to sharing the rest of my triumphs and failures with you.  And let's be honest, the failures are usually more amusing than the triumphs, because when I fail, I do it in an epic fashion.
Also, friends of the family that I am thankful for everyday!  Joan & family, the Telohs, Cheryl Wood McCoy...jeez...there are a bunch :)

3.  I am thankful for my job.  No, scratch that, I am thankful that I am able to work.  Not just because of the economy, but because I had some serious doubts that I was capable of it.  I applied to one place and got in.  Not too shabby.  I am still adjusting, and it may take some time, but I'm doing okay with it.  Also, I have extra money now!  I get to make the apartment nicer, spoil Whimzy, and after Christmas, I am building myself a mini-reading nook!  All because of my job!

4. I am thankful for Doctor Who, and the fandom surrounding it.  I enjoy being a fangirl :)

5. I am thankful for my talents, which include the ability to fake being perky, cooking, reading, and cuddling. And yes, cuddling is a talent.

6.  I am thankful for my abundance of pillows, including my Ninja Turtle pillow that only gets brought out when he is really needed.

7.  I am thankful for onion rings and coke floats.

8.  I am thankful for my couch.  It is so darn comfy.

9.  I am thankful for my Doctor Who socks, they help me take on the world.

10.  I am thankful for my therapist and psychiatrist.  They are helping me become stronger, for myself. They are helping me realize my potential and showing me that I am worth something.

11.  I am thankful to all of my authors.  They take me away, give me mini-vacations, and help me deal with reality by replacing my own with theirs for a short period of time.  

12.  I am thankful for Netflix and Hulu.  They help keep me sane.

13. I am thankful for my apartment.  It is often messy, but it is ours.  It reflects who we are as a family and we are a pretty awesome family ;)

14.  I am thankful for the ladies who wax my eyebrows.  'Nuff said.

15.  I am thankful for good smells, whether it is Whimzy's hair after a bath, wood burning, something good cooking, or a candle, good smells make me happy.

16.  I am thankful to the wonderful lady bloggers who share their struggles and their good days with the rest of us.  Especially Hyperbole and a Half and the Bloggess.  Both of these ladies have made a tremendous impact in my life.  Not only do they help me, but they help me explain my issues to people around me.  My dad does not quite understand, he is trying, but he doesn't understand.  Using these ladies, I am able to articulate and show him what it is like better.  They inspire me, and they make me feel less alone and less crazy.  

17.  I am thankful for school.  Lately, I've been slacking, but I'm going at it gung-ho for this class and getting my mojo back.  

18.  I am thankful for the memories that everybody in my life (past and present) has given me.  From Nana and Papa, to old friends, they have helped shape my world and my perspectives.  

19.  I am thankful for stability.  My life is stable.  I love it.

20.  I am thankful for cute and fuzzy things.  

21.  I am thankful for acceptance that I have from the people who know me the best.

Okay, well I am sure there is more, but these are the major things!! 

What are you thankful for?  Silly or serious :)

In Response to Some Inspiration

I regularly read a blog by "The Bloggess".  She is a wonderful writer, funny, and has some issues of her own.  She often inspires me and makes me feel not so alone. 

Well, one of her blogs recently made me want to reply and comment to it, but I didn't think I had enough room in the comment box, so I am going to write on here and post the link to her comment box. 

So, here is the post:

http://thebloggess.com/2013/09/is-it-just-me/

Read it before you proceed.  

But in case you don't...

Basically, the post is about how no matter how much she accomplishes she always feels inadequate.  Compliments make her feel terrible because she feels like she is an impostor.  This is coming from a New York Time's Best Selling Author, an author of one the most popular female blogs, and a general inspiration to probably thousands of people.  

She asks the question "Is It Just Me?"

I am going to tell her, through this, that it isn't.

I feel like that all of the time.

Granted, I am not as accomplished as she is, but I have made some difficult strides in the past few years.

My daughter is smart, I make decent grades in school, I am a great cook, I cultured some amazing relationships, and I bagged a pretty great husband.  I earned my first degree last year, and hopefully should have my BS by the end of next year.  

Last night, I couldn't sleep.  Despite my anxiety meds and some Valerian to help me sleep, I laid in bed for 3 hours, in the dark, doing nothing but thinking.  In fact, I felt downright woozy.  My thoughts were going in circles and I just couldn't shut it off.

So, finally, 3 hours later, I got up to do homework.  I figured even if I was drugged, I should get something done.  And it is usually at about this time that I come up with all of the awesome stuff that I am going to do the next day, and make plans for the next few weeks.  

This is a brief summary of my thought process last night:

I really want french toast!  I am going to make french toast in the morning.  I am going to text Ty and ask him to grab me some energy stuff to take first thing in the morning and do the dishes and then make french toast.  Good moms do crafts, too!   Maybe I should set up a craft for Whimzy, because good moms do crafts.  Ooh, and I need to finish all of my library books!  Maybe I'll stay up late all week and do just that.  I should set up a cleaning schedule, too.  I mean, one for just this week.  The apartment is messy.  I need to clean it.  And I have to make that soup that I bought stuff for.  I have to go see my mom, too.  Get on that more.  That essay is due tomorrow, too!  And Whimzy needs more snacks for school.  I will do dishes, make french toast, get Whimzy ready for school, get her to school, stop at the store, then come home and cuddle Ty for a bit.  Then write my essay, make dinner, do dishes again, put Whimzy to bed, and read until Ty gets home from darts!  It will be an epic day and I will feel amazing and this will be the start of a new life!

So, there were my thoughts from last night.  

Guess what happened?  Well, Whimzy did get to school, and I do have pants on.  That is a decent day for me lately.  I'm also using this to procrastinate writing my essay.  It will get done, but right now my brain does not feel like performing a job analysis or well...doing much more than being introspective and cuddling.  I will probably make dinner, too.  I have to feed Whimzy.  If it wasn't for her, I'd probably just skip it, but that would be neglect.

I am also in the beginning stages of getting meds straight, so I know my days will get better, but no, Bloggess, you are not alone.  

I should have had a my BS years ago, I should be a better mom, I should be better at this domestic stuff, and I should....  

This list could go on.  And yes, I feel guilty about it all.  I cry because of it.  

*sigh*

Damn crafts.

Good moms do crafts...