Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Chin Up Buttercup

I have spent the last few days emotional and a bit out of it.
The higher dosage of my meds made me a bit flighty, or as my uncle put it, I seemed "high and drunk". 
Well, it seems to have evened out and am feeling a little bit more stable and less crazy.
I feel a little bit more motivated to get things done.
I feel like I can do this.
I also want to cry, a lot.
My therapist appointment actually had me crying because I had to face some things that have happened in my life that I have not even spoken about since they happened.  That was the first time I felt like I had really had a purpose in therapy.  So, because of the progress, my therapy is going to be upped to once a week until I start feeling like I am not going to drown in a pool of despair.  
I have a Halloween party this week, a child friendly one with good friends, and I am not that nervous.  A couple months ago I would have been terrified.  I see that as progress.
My psychiatrist also asked me to pick one goal for my life to make several aspects of my life better.  I chose cooking.  I haven't been cooking.  I missed it, but haven't made any attempts lately to do anything that didn't come out of a box.  So, this weekend I have a soup and a cookie recipe that I am going to do.   I also have a dip recipe for the party :)
I am moving forward, and in a deep way.  A way that means that I might be healing some wounds that have festered and keep causing me issues.
As a psych major, I am working towards becoming more psychologically healthy and now that I know exactly what that means, I think I can do it, eventually.

I love everybody that has been there for me, through the good and the bad.  And trust me, there was a lot of bad.  I hope that the better I get, the more I can make the people who stood by me proud of who I am becoming.  
I am so lucky that I have my husband, family, and friends who have been here and have accepted me and my issues. 

Okay, off to catch up on some homework and dive back into my school stuff! 
Life is good, and I am going to enjoy it, despite the lipgloss art in the bathroom that I am dreading cleaning up.  Thank you, Whimzy for that....

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