Friday, September 27, 2013

TMI Post, but still pretty hilarious.

I just got back from my gynecologist.
After about a week of slight pain and 2 days of extreme pain and my imagination going wild, I finally made a doctor's appointment.  
I chemically burned my va-jay-jay.  
With Nair.
Disclaimer:  I have used Nair before.  I have never had any issues before.  
New disclaimer:  I threw the bottle away.
I had such bad things going through my head; staph infections, MRSA, subaceous name it, I was worried.

I never thought I'd be so happy to be chemically burned.  Well, with prescriptions for a cream and an antibiotic, I am feeling super great that my vagina is not broken, just chemically burned.

I don't think they make a get well card for this...

The pain we go through to be "beautiful".  


Anybody else have terrible Nair stories?  

Thursday, September 19, 2013

On A Lighter Note: Can't Sleep Ramblings

I have a ton to do tomorrow.  Mostly running around to various places and being social.  Bleh.
Aaannd....I can't sleep.  
My brain won't shut down.
It just keeps going in circles.  
I got up to get some ice water and it occurred to me that the fact that I have ice all of the time makes me feel responsible.  When we lived above the bar, I never refilled the ice trays and cursed when we didn't have any ice.  Granted, Ty would just run and get ice from downstairs, but still....  I mean, I even use hot water to make the ice cubes clear.  Why does that work?  Anybody?
Also, I lamented at the state of my silverware divider today.  That made me feel old.  Since when is cleaning a silverware divider a thing?  And how did so many crumbs get into the drawer?  I need to know these things.
And I think I forgot to eat dinner.   Whimzy ate, but I didn't.  Pretty sure I only ate lunch today.  
I finished my entire to-do list today and got to spend a good chunk of time cuddling with my lil girl.  I also found out she has imaginary friends today.  I love it!  Ty is demanding we get her some real friends outside of school.  Which means playdates. Interesting.  We have a family picnic for Whimzy's school tomorrow, maybe I shall reach out to a fellow Mom.  She does really seem to hang out with a little boy with minion shoes.  
See?  My brain....make it stop.
Also, I am expecting a cute hat wearing, kazoo playing, chipmunk from Ty at some point in the near future.  He basically promised me.  I will upload videos.
And guess what!?  Torchwood is on Hulu now!  WOOHOO!  I found out and giggled a bit maniacally earlier.  I want John Barrowman's babies.  
Oh, and besides imaginary friends, my little girl eats imaginary bugs.  No clue.  Okay, I am going to try this sleep thing again.  If it refuses to work, I am going to read until one of two things happens: 1)Ty gets home and cuddles me (which always seems to help me sleep better) or 2) I finish the book in a fit of mania and collapse with exhaustion with the input of knowledge from a different world. I obviously will be reading fiction.
On that note, I don't think I am going to make my goal of reading 4 books this week.  Haven't even finished one yet.  Life gets in the way of what I really want to be doing. I do get JQ Foxes' food tomorrow, though...yummy....
Gosh darn it!  Not only can I not stop thinking, I can't stop typing, either!  

Okay, well....
Good night before some more random thoughts magically pop from my brain down to my fingers.  

Sweet dreams!  

My Happily Ever After

Wedding pictures!
I need to start this post with why I have my happily ever after.
I know, alot of my posts lately have been about my anxiety, and how I feel like I could be in a better place emotionally.
I can be hard person to love.
I can be damaged, I make bad decisions, I can be impulsive, I can be emotional, I can be kinda' hermit-y, I can be irrational, and above all I can push people away very well.
Four and a half years ago I was nothing.  I was struggling with every aspect of life.  I couldn't keep a job, I was living out of my family's basement with no car of my own.  I was drinking too much and had no handle on myself.  I cried more often than I didn't and I did everything in my power to not have to be in my own head.  
Then I met Ty.  It took me awhile, but he gave me some stability and patience to figure stuff out myself.  He never pushed, he never made me feel like I was a waste of potential.  He just let me take steps on my own, supporting me in every decision I made.  Even if they were the wrong decisions, he was there to catch me when I fell. He encouraged me having my own small business that I actually did pretty well in and he encouraged me going back to school for something that I had never even considered before.  
Even when I did things that should have made him hate me, or at least want me out of his life, he just hugged me and told me how much he loved me.  
He constantly told me how proud he was of me, and he still does.  He  provides for our family while I struggle with my anxiety.  He lets me buy books and never, ever claims it is "his money".  He gets along with my family and friends.  He is a great, if not the best ever, Dad.  
Four and a half years ago, I was a different person.  I owe my new, stable, amazing life to Ty.  He was patient and understanding with every misstep that I took, and occasionally still take. 
I am crying while I write this because sometimes I don't think I deserve such an amazing person loving me. 
But, I know deep, deep in my soul that I love him.  I love everything about him, even the things that I don't like (like his fascination with Will Farrell and the way he eats spaghetti).  I love the way that I feel when I curl up to him, I love the way that he makes me laugh, I love the way he puts me and Whimzy first, above everything.  I love the way he wears bright colors and doesn't mind wearing a pony shirt because Whimzy likes it.  I love how he never  questions when I have to spend money on my mom, or time with her.  I love how he comes with me and never, ever complains about being there.  I love that we can watch terrible movies and laugh about them together.  I love that he does dishes.  I love that he indulges my more reasonable whims and thinks I am cute for them.  Geez, I could go on forever.  We have been through so much together, so many things that should have torn us apart.  And yet, here we are, with me hugging him good-bye for work and crying because I love him so much.  

So, as promised, wedding pictures!
My photographer, Stephanie Juga, Sealed W/ a Kiss Photography.
(All pictures are trademarked to her!)
She is amazing and I recommend her for any of your photo needs!  She has done my wedding, a set of Christmas pictures, and our engagement pictures.  She is a ton of fun, really prompt with getting pictures back to you, and is just all around great!

All of the bridesmaids wore the other half of the best friend necklaces!

My little girl :)

We got to ride golf carts back to the photo spot!

Me, being adored ;)

Aren't they pretty?

My maid of honor/sister and my hubby!

Me and my ladies!

My other soul mate <3

I got loved all over the place!

He looks way too happy with this.

My dress!

This is the one going in our engraved frame!

Me finding out he is a  Possibly my favorite picture of the whole wedding.

My uncle and Mom.

Us and my Jagee (grandpa)

Our unity ceremony!  We made whiskey.  It will be aged just in time for our one-year anniversary.

The basic gist of my colors!  

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Yes, I Have A Confession

I have a confession.
I really hope that fellow mothers and college students, or both, can relate.
 My apartment is messy right now.
I have no immediate plans to clean it.
The dishes need to be done, I need to catch up on laundry, floors need to be scrubbed, toys need to be picked up, surfaces need to be dusted, carpets need to be vacuumed, various areas need to be decluttered, the AC in my bedroom needs its filter cleaned, I need to update my filing system, my storage needs to be organized, and the list goes on....
Unfortunately, I have a lot going on taking care of my mom (fighting her nursing home to get POA), my daughter just started school, I have 2 essays, a matrix, and a group project due this week, and I got to spend some time with my family while we helped each other out (I got to do laundry, borrow a vehicle, and I helped them with my grandpa and cooked them dinner).  
So, no, if you come over right now, I will not be proud of my living space.  I will be a bit ashamed, and wish that I was a better housewife and blah, blah, blah....
It does mess with my concept of what I should be doing, and it does mess me with me all around.  
This morning, I took 20 minutes to cuddle my daughter before we got ready for school.  I took a 15 minute break from school to do this and catch up on some FB stuff.  
Priorities, I guess.
Not to mention, I am still dealing with psychological changes from starting meds.  It is still a roller coaster.  

So, my apartment is going to stay messy, for now.  
I am going to focus on school, family, and my mental health.
Hopefully, I will get some teamwork going on this weekend with my husband and it will all get done.  

Any others out there dealing with an overload and wishing you had a maid?
Share your stories and vent your frustration!

P.S.  Wedding pics are coming! I got permission from the photographer!  <3 
Her info will be included with the pics.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

My Pride and Joy

So, I could go on about how my meds have been affecting me, or how I've been feeling about myself lately, but I've written enough of those posts lately.  Nobody wants to read a constant pity party.  

Tomorrow, my little girl starts her second year of 4-K.  She will end up having 2.5 years of 4-K because of some difficulty she has had with speech.
She is so excited.  She has been asking to go back to school for at least 2 months now.  
Since her last day of school, her speech has gotten so much better, her hair has grown out, and she has lost a little bit of her baby-face.  Her teachers have even noticed during our open house and home visit.  
She is growing up, and she is the most amazing little girl, at least to me.
She is going through a "stubborn" (and I mean she pushes my buttons until I consider locking her in a closet and drinking my brains out, which I would never actually do, obviously) stage, but she still gives me so many moments that I am so glad that she is in my life; so many moments that make me want to grab her and never let her go.  
I sometimes question my parenting skills, and if I am going to pass on any of my issues onto her, but then she hugs me, and says "I lub you" then explains to me why she couldn't possibly pick up her own mess.  
Between me and her beyond amazing father, we are doing okay, and I am excited for her to get back out into the world tomorrow.  It would be selfish to keep her to myself.

Btw, I will have some wedding pics up soon, as well as some recipes (think Oreo cheesecake stuffed chocolate cupcakes) with pictures!  So keep checking back :)