Thursday, July 18, 2013

When Optimism and Caffeine Doesn't Work

First of all, thanks to whoever is reading, this blog is doing way better than my wedding blog!  Now, just start commenting ;)
I haven't posted in a bit.  I haven't done anything in a bit.  I've had a really, really bad week with my anxiety.  Two weekends in a row now, I'm planning on doing something that means I have to be out of my house for a good chunk of the day.  So, this week between the two events has been terrible.  Lots of anxiety, lots of doubt, lots of issues.  Poor hubby, he has helped pick up the cleaning slack and treats me like I'm "sick".  I suppose I am, but it doesn't seem fair.  It isn't fair to the people around me, including (and especially) my husband and daughter. 
I finally made the appointment for meds and talked to my therapist after a few month break because of issues with insurance coverage.  I have to wait 3 weeks for the meds appointment, but I have a therapist appointment set up for next Friday. 
Honestly, I kind of just want to cry.  I am sick of feeling like this.  I am sick of not being able to do all of the awesome things in my head (and Pinterest) because of "issues".  Every single aspect of my life suffers. 
I need to do better.  Not just for myself, but for the people around me.
I'm standing up in a wedding this weekend.  I am dreading it because it means a night and a day out of the house, out of my comfort zone.  I am being a bad friend because of it. 
I am going to take my meds properly, I am going to use my therapist correctly, and I am going to put my all into getting better.  I have to.  This is no longer an option for living. 
I welcome stories of people who have gone through this type of thing, who are currently going through this. 
Don't feel like sharing on here?
Email me:
Sharing helps.
You and me :)

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